Audio: Seniors Want Style, Too
Germany is getting older, so this Berlin store offers its senior customers larger fitting rooms, bigger sizes and shoes with non-slip soles.德國柏林商店給年老的顧客群
48 Fun Things to Do
In and Around a Department Store Fitting Room
by Jason Roth
- Pretend you're blind, and enter the fitting room with a seeing-eye dog. Exit the room naked, with the dog wearing your clothes.
- Sing the song "Needles and Pins".
- Knock on the fitting room next to you, and say, "Pa? Is that you?"
- (Women only) Ask the salesperson to bring you several bras much larger than you're capable of wearing. If she suggests you try on a smaller size, tell her that you plan on getting implants.
- (Men only) See #4.
- Smuggle in a tape player and blast the sound of a rooster crowing.
- Complain loudly about the clothing not being big enough for your genitals.
- In a whisper, ask questions about where the gun is.
- Pour water underneath the wall between you and the next fitting room.
- Confess your sins to the customer in the next fitting room.
- Describe yourself changing clothes in detail to the person in the next fitting room.
- Stick a periscope under the wall of the fitting room next to you.
- Hold a camera under the wall next to you and a take a picture. Remember to turn on the flash.
- Tap the drum solo to "Wipeout" on the fitting-room wall between you and another customer. Practice until you are sure you can do it right consistently.
- Fill the pockets of unwanted clothing with sand.
- Wait for people to step outside the fitting area to show family members the clothes they're trying on. Hide the clothes they were originally wearing.
- Wait for people to step outside the fitting area to show family members the clothes they're trying on. Replace the pants they were originally wearing with similar pants of a different size.
- Wait for people to step outside the fitting area to show family members the clothes they're trying on. Put their clothes on before they come back, then go out and ask their family how you look.
- Play a tape containing the sound of a saw cutting through wood. Utter rebelliously, "They think they can keep me locked up in this place forever? Just wait until they get a load of this!"
- Enter the fitting room with nothing to try on.
- Enter the fitting room with only a pair of gloves.
- Insert discarded pins into lingerie sporadically. Return the lingerie to the rack.
- Inside the fitting room, put on a pair of pants and a shirt you just purchased at another store, leaving the tags and labels on the clothing. Exit the fitting room running, and see how far you can get before being tackled and having to show your receipt.
- Say "Yes, officer. He's/she's in there." Then knock aggressively on one of the fitting room doors.
- Leave the door open as you change.
- See how many sweaters you can put on at one time.
- Enter the fitting room carrying a pair of skis. Bang them repeatedly against the walls while swearing.
- Jog in place and hum the theme song to Rocky.
- Ask people in nearby fitting rooms if they want to accept Jesus into their lives.
- Bring a cup of water into the fitting room. Drench a piece of clothing, preferably pants, and return it to the rack.
- Reach under the wall into the fitting room next to you with a $20 bill in your hand. Say: "I'm ready when you are."
- Making as many trips to the fitting room as necessary, see what percentage of the store's total stock you can transport there. Each shelf cleared is worth 5 points. Entire circular racks are worth 25 points. A variation of the game may be played using multiple fitting rooms.
- Put itching powder in unpurchased underwear.
- Put itching powder in your own underwear.
- Bounce a super-ball really hard under someone else's door.
- Exit the fitting room wearing clothing not sold in the store, and of a very different style than what is sold there. Examples: metal-studded leather in Victoria's Secret, a tuxedo in a sportswear store, or a tight little miniskirt in a store for "full-figured" women. Take time to examine yourself sufficiently in front of the public mirror.
- Unzip something, then scream.
- Hide a barrel in one of the fitting rooms early in the day. Later, go in and come out wearing only the barrel.
- Say "Nice pants", then laugh loudly to yourself.
- Using several hangers, wire shut the fitting room door from the inside. Start singing "1000 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" very loudly, and treat yourself later to one real beer for every dozen bottles you can "take down and pass around" before a security guard breaks in and handcuffs you.
- Drill a peephole.
- Stick things through the peephole.
- Leave a portable phone in one of the fitting rooms underneath some clothing, and stand somewhere outside with another phone. Wait for someone to enter, wait about a minute, then call them. Breathe heavily and say, "I'm watching you."